"I'm Busy"

I've wanted to write this article for a while, however, I've been busy. You know, I've had hours of "they're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats" videos to watch on Tik Tok and the new "Mr. McMahon" series just came out on Netflix. I just didn't have time. So, what are we really telling people when we say "we're busy". First, let's accept a simple fact. We're full of shit!

The average adult sleeps 7 to 9 hours at night and spends over 6.5 hours on their phone. That's over 14 hours of a 24 hour day. Therefore, let's just admit that when we tell people "we're busy", we are really saying something else is more important. Below are some examples of circumstances when we most often reply with "I'm busy" or "crazy" when we really mean to say "I would rather" or respond that something else is more of a priority :

1. How are you? response - "Busy". This is our most common reflex response to a courtesy greeting. We don't want to say good or great, if that's the truth, because we don't want to make our friend feel bad if they're not doing well. We also don't want to say bad or awful because what if our friends or colleagues knew the truth...and do they really care? So we say "Busy" and then get into a cock fight about who's schedule is the busiest. The problem is that we are missing the opportunity to have a genuine conversation since we're just giving the reflex response..."Busy";

   
   

2. I left you a message response - "I've been busy". Rather than apologizing and asking the person what they wanted so you both could be productive, we tend to take 5 minutes explaining why our lives are so crazy. HOWEVER, what we're really telling people is that all the things we just listed were more important than returning the call. Worse, many people, even after their 5 minute "busy explanation", don't even have the courtesy to ask what the person wanted. In business, this often results in missed opportunities. It leaves the other person thinking, "I wanted to work with him or her, but they were too "busy";

   
   

3. Let's get together response - "My schedule is crazy". What they are really saying is that other things and people on their calendar are more important. I often find it comical when half the stuff that's listed on the schedule has nothing to do with what they are physically doing, it's actually things that their spouse, family, or co-workers are doing. This is really hurtful when it comes to friends and family. Over the last several years, this has happened when friends visit Disney. Their schedule is so packed full with reservations that they booked months in advance, that they just "don't have time". Translation, "the Mickey waffle and seeing Bob dressed up in the Goofy costume is more important than seeing you"! News flash, Orlando has many fine restaurants, and most of them have better food and are less expensive than Disney. Parents will often list their kids sports schedule as an excuse. Next time invite your friends to a game. Truth is, you're not playing. Maybe your friends or family might want to attend a game and sit with you in the crowd. Unfortunately, we seem to make time for funerals and then we post heartfelt obituaries on Facebook. We want everyone to know just how heartbroken we were that Fred died. But did we really care about Fred when he was alive. When Fred came in to town, did we make time to see him or were we too busy for a cup of coffee or a drink.

Now I don't want to seem like a hypocrite. I'm guilty of the same behavior that I listed above. I don't make enough time for friends and family, and I often say I'm busy. We must acknowledge the problem so we can improve. The truth is that we never know what people are going through behind closed doors. According to the CDC, suicide rates are the highest in the US since 1941. What we see on social media, is not what's really going on in real life. On average, there are 135 suicides every day. Men die by suicide 3.85 times more than women. There are way to many "self help" books and articles that talk about "me" time. You have to make time for yourself. I'm sorry, but society has gone way too far with that bullshit.

We have become a very selfish society. We've become so addicted to ourselves that we are neglecting the people we should love most, our family and friends. So pick up the phone, not to play games or watch Tik Tok. Call a friend. Schedule time to hang out with a loved one, you never know when it might be the last time you see them.